I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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