If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
