from now on my penis is your penis
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
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