SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
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