That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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