Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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