Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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