Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
