Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
