Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
