I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
