I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
