I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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