Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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