After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
Randomize
