And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Randomize
