Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Randomize
