Betty ford says i'm here all night
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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