I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Randomize
