he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
