My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
