Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
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