if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
