my phone cant type all the emotion im having
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
