wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
