If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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