Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
