I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
