So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
