I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
and you fell through a lawn chair
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
