the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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