Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Randomize
