its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
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