i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
