he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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