I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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