I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
