I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
