I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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