his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Randomize
