On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just gargled with NyQuil
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
