He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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