I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
