can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
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