whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
