Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
