you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Randomize
