but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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