I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
