I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
