I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
