I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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