If that was your dad, he is hot
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
